「中英文」元宇宙之雪崩（1）(6)

所以现在他有了另外一份工作。没有亮度或创造力，但也没有合作。只有一个原则：Deliverator 屹立不倒，三十分钟之内你的馅饼送到，或者你可以免费，射杀司机，占有他的车，提起集体诉讼。送货员已经从事这项工作六个月了，按照他的标准，他的任期是丰富而漫长的，而且送披萨的时间从未超过 21 分钟。
Oh, they used to argue over times, many corporate driver-years lost to it: homeowners, red-faced and sweaty with their own lies, stinking of Old Spice and job-related stress, standing in their glowing yellow doorways brandishing their Seikos and waving at the clock over the kitchen sink, I swear, can"t you guys tell time?
哦，他们过去常常争论不休，许多公司司机都输了：房主，因为他们自己的谎言满脸通红，满头大汗，散发着旧香料和与工作相关的压力，站在他们发光的黄色门口，挥舞着精工和对着厨房水槽的时钟挥手，我发誓，你们不会说时间吗？
Didn"t happen anymore. Pizza delivery is a major industry. A managed industry. People went to CosaNostra Pizza University four years just to learn it. Came in its doors unable to write an English sentence, from Abkhazia, Rwanda, Guanajuato, South Jersey, and came out knowing more about pizza than a Bedouin knows about sand. And they had studied this problem. Graphed the frequency of doorway delivery-time disputes. Wired the early Deliverators to record, then analyze the debating tactics, the voice-stress histograms, the distinctive grammatical structures employed by white middle-class Type A Burbclave occupants who against all logic had decided that this was the place to take their personal Custerian stand against all that was stale and deadening in their lives: they were going to lie, or delude themselves, about the time of their phone call and get themselves a free pizza; no, they deserved a free pizza along with their life, liberty, and pursuit of whatever, it was fucking inalienable. Sent psychologists out to these people"s houses, gave them a free TV set to submit to an anonymous interview, hooked them to polygraphs, studied their brain waves as they showed them choppy, inexplicable movies of porn queens and late-night car crashes and Sammy Davis, Jr., put them in sweet-smelling, mauve-walled rooms and asked them questions about Ethics so perplexing that even a Jesuit couldn"t respond without committing a venial sin.